 |
Moving to a new community may be one of the most
stress-producing experiences a family faces. Frequent moves or
even a single move can be especially hard on children and
adolescents. Studies show children who move frequently are more
likely to have problems at school. Moves are even more difficult
if accompanied by other significant changes in the child's life,
such as a death, divorce, loss of family income, or a need to
change schools.
 |
Moving Interrupts Friendships
To a new child at school, it may at first seem that everyone else
has a best friend or is securely involved with a group of peers. The
child must get used to a different schedule and curriculum, and may
be ahead in certain subjects and behind in others. This situation
may make the child stressed, anxious or bored. |
 |
Young Children May Be Particularly Vulnerable
Children in kindergarten or first grade may be particularly
vulnerable to a family move because developmentally they are just in
the process of separating from their parents and adjusting to new
authority figures and social relationships. The relocation can
interfere with that normal process of separation by causing them to
return to a more dependent relationship with their parents. |
 |
Peer Groups
In general, the older the child, the more difficulty he or she will
have with the move because of the increasing importance of the peer
group. Pre-teens and teenagers may repeatedly protest the move, or
ask to stay in their hometown with a friend's family. Some
youngsters may not talk about their distress, so parents should be
aware of the warning signs of depression, including changes in
appetite, social withdrawal, a drop in grades, irritability, sleep
disturbances or other dramatic changes in behavior or mood. |
 |
Children And Stress
Children who seem depressed by a move may be reacting more to the
stress they are experiencing than to the relocation. Sometimes one
parent may be against the move, and children will sense and react to
this parental discord. |
 |
Signs Of Depression
If the child shows persistent signs of depression or distress,
parents can ask their family doctor, their pediatrician, or the
local medical society to refer them to a child and adolescent
psychiatrist. The child and adolescent psychiatrist can evaluate and
treat the child's emotional problems which may be associated with
stress and also help parents make the transition and new experience
easier for the whole family. |
To make the move easier on children, parents may take these
steps:
 |
Explain clearly to the children why the move is necessary. |
 |
Familiarize the children as much as possible with the new area with
maps, photographs or the daily newspaper. |
 |
Describe advantages of the new location that the child might
appreciate such as a lake, mountain or an amusement park. |
 |
After the move, get involved with the children in activities of the
local church or synagogue, PTA, scouts, YMCA, etc. |
 |
If
a son or daughter is a senior in high school, consider the
possibility of letting him or her stay with a trusted family until
the school year is over. |
 |
Let children participate in designing or furnishing their room. |
 |
Help children keep in touch with friends from the previous
neighborhood through telephone, letters, e-mail, and personal
visits. |
The more frequently a family moves, the more important is the
need for internal stability. With the proper attention from
parents, and professional help if necessary, moving can be a
positive growth experience for children, leading to increased
self-confidence and interpersonal skills.
|
 |